TALON:

Look Jim, I’m not an idiot.
I know what you see when you look at me.

JIM:
You do?

TALON:
Of course.
Behind this strong, stoic leadership figure you see in front of you lies a man, just like you.

JIM SQUINTS HIS EYES AND SQUIRMS ON HIS STOOL.

JIM:
Ssssure.

TALON:
The difference between me and you Jim, is that I’m the kind of man that company...
in a company w… I’m a company man Jim, through and through.

I didn’t choose this job Jim, the job chose me.

BEAT

Well I guess my old boss chose me actually. 
And the HR woman I spoke to… but I chose to take it. 
Do you know what I mean?

JIM:
I think I do.

TALON:
What I’m saying is that this has always been more of a calling than a job for me, you know.
So what about you Jim, are you going to answer your call?

TALON GESTURES TO A PHONE ON THE DESK

TALON:
Are you?
I’m actually asking.

JIM:
You want me to…

TALON:
Yes Jim, pick it up.
Pick up the phone.

JIM GINGERLY PICKS UP THE RECEIVER.

JIM:
I don’t think it’s even plugged...

TALON:
Hello Jim, It’s Talon.
From Pump.

TALON GESTURES TO JIM TO PLAY ALONG.

JIM:
Hello.

TALON:
Jim, this is destiny calling!

JIM:
I thought you said it was Talon.

TALON:
Yes, well… It’s both isn’t it.

BEAT

You can go ahead and…
Just put it down.

JIM PLACES THE RECEIVER BACK ON THE PHONE.

TALON LEANS BACK ON HIS CHAIR. IT SLIPS AWAY FROM HIM A LITTLE.
STARTLED, HE TRIES TO KEEP HIS COOL.

TALON:
Well Jim, let’s get down to it shall we? Why hath our paths crossed this fine morn?
It says here that you left university after 2 and a bit years?
What happened? 
Why - did - you - quit?

JIM CLEARS HIS THROAT AND SQUIRMS UNCOMFORTABLY ON THE TINY STOOL.

JIM:
Well, um, up until a few weeks ago I was studying Astrophysics and cosmology at Bristol.
Like it says on there.

TALON:
Astro-cosmoplo… yup, yea I see. Go on.

JIM:
I thought I was on the cusp of something big - like world changing big.

I was working on a paper that would prove the big bang theory once and for all, a scientific bible from which all living things could be traced back to. 

An idea that transcended race, religion, politics and geography.
A message to bring the world together as one.
A message of hope.

YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP - TALON LEANS IN.

TALON:
What happened?

JIM:
It Turns out.

BEAT

I’d been researching fuzzy broadcasts of Homes under the Hammer for 4 years.
A dodgy signal from the booster down the road, so...

TALON:
I’m sorry to hear that Jim, it happens all too often.

JIM:
It does?

TALON:
Did you manage to take anything away from your time at uni?

JIM:
Yes.

BEAT

Only an idiot would buy property at auction without at least looking at the paperwork first.
Just stupid.

TALON NODS SYMPATHETICALLY.

TALON:

Well listen Jim, even without the degree you’re head and shoulders ahead of the rest of the candidates I’ve spoken with.

BEAT

Literally, one of them was a small person.
It’s ok, that’s what they like to be called these days.
Philip Schofield said it. So you know you’re safe there.

I’d like to formally offer you the position of fuel performance manager.
What do you say Jim?

JIM:
Great, that’s really great. Thank you Talon.
I really appreciate this.

TALON:
Welcome to the PUMP family son.
Under my guidance you’ll go far in this company.

JIM:
OK, wicked, yea. 

BEAT

Please don’t call me son though, OK?

TALON:
Noted, Jim m’lad noted.
So, let’s get you started off shall we.
Could you just...

TALON STANDS UP AND GENSURES FOR JIM TO STAND BACK.
HE AWKWARDLY PUSHES THE DESK TOWARDS JIM, PINNING HIM TO THE WALL BEHIND.
HE OPENS UP THE DESK DRAW AND PULLS OUT A PILE OF NAME TAGS.
HE PULLS THE DESK BACK AND THEY SIT.

TALON:
Right, so… we’ve got a Sally, a Margo, a Tony, a Pat and a Tim.
Well, Tim’s pretty close isn’t it?

JIM:
Not really, no. My name is Jim.

TALON:
Yea, I know. But these things are pretty expensive to print.
And we have these right here, so…

THERE’S A MOMENT OF AWKWARD SILENCE.
TALON HANDS JIM THE NAME BADGE.

TALON:
Welcome aboard, Tim.

JIM:
Sure.

TALON:
Do you have any other questions before I give you the gilded guided tour?

JIM:
Umm, just one I guess.
The age thing. You seem a little...

TALON:
Jim Jim Jimmy Jim-Jim.
In this game it’s experience that counts.
And as the most senior member of the team, the weighty responsibility of running the Ilminster branch falls upon me.
Heavy wears the crown Jim, hea-vy.

JIM:
So you’ve been here a while then?

TALON:
Five… 
Five hundred and fifty six days now.

JIM:
About a year and a half?

TALON:
In many ways I grew up on that forecourt.
An education I can tell you.

JIM:
I’m pretty sure you and my little brother were at school together?

TALON:
Ah yes, of course.
I knew I recognised that surname of yours.
How is Stewart these days?

JIM:
Stew - he’s great I guess.
Much like you, he’s been really applying himself after finishing school.

BEAT

I think he finally completed Zelda last week.
So, busy busy.

TALON:
I see, I see.
Well, do give him my best when you next see him.
Shall we?

TALON RISES FROM HIS DESK AND GESTURES FOR JIM TO JOIN HIM ON THE TOUR. THEY AWKWARDLY SHUFFLE AROUND THE DESK AND LEAVE THE CRAMPED OFFICE.

.     . .     . . .     . . . .     . . . . .     . . . . . .     . . . . . .